Our Journey

Okay, I have thought, thought about this day, when we were pregnant and we could share it with everyone we love. However, it is bittersweet. It comes with such joy and loss.

This March, Mitch and I agreed that we were ready to try for a family. I remember being so excited. Well, low and behold one month later, I was four days late.... we were pregnant! I went to the doctor, did blood, and they called to confirm. Ok, well here we go! We were nervous, excited, giddy, full of emotion. We started planning how we would tell our families.... and so. A few days later we made these sweet frames, with a pic of the pregnancy test in them and shared the good news. No one knew we were trying, so the utter excitement was amazing. I remember laying in bed planning everything in my head, nurseries, maternity clothes, and so on. I called my OB and was scheduled an appointment in three weeks, which would have been eight weeks. One week later (6 1/2 weeks pregnant) I started spotting and just knew something was wrong. Nervous, and worried we decided to go to the ER to see what was going on. After, the longest, coldest night possible, It was confirmed that I was miscarrying. There was nothing on the ultrasound and when the doctor told me my levels had dropped meaning I wasn't pregnant anymore, I just wanted to throw up. The following week we went to see my ob and she was optimistic. Saying that it happens and I'm young and no reason to worry, that I didn't need hormones and one miscarriage is common. We decided to take a month to grieve and recenter. It was a long month of anger and confusion, but we got through it.

So, after taking a month off we decided to try again. I will say, the excitement was less this time, and was replaced with nerves and sorrow. I couldn't get it out of my mind that it would happen again. Well, low and behold after a month, we got pregnant again. Well this time I was on it, not only did I schedule an appointment with one of the top infertility OB's in town, but the day I found out and every other day after that I had my levels checked to see if my HCG was growing. I have learned that when you are pregnant the hormone HCG is suppose to double ever 48hours in the first few months. If not, then there is something wrong. From the second draw, there were red flags. My levels never doubled yet grew a little each time. I felt like I was being teased, or a part of some sick joke. This went on for two weeks, and when I was "six" weeks pregnant they sent me in for an ultrasound to see if there was anything. Once again, there was nothing. At this time, I was still with my old OB, who was nice, just not aggressive enough. This time she did prescribe me some hormones (after she told me a month before that I didn't need them and one miscarriage is common), but it was too late. This pregnancy was already failing. I had scheduled the appointment with Dr. Swanson my new OB after the first miscarriage two months prior, but he is so hard to get in to, that it was barley coming up. Normally, you wouldn't see the doctor first when you are pregnant, but I knew something was wrong, so I called his office and laid it all out for them. They said that he agreed to see me. I was so relieved. I felt if anyone could help, he could.

So recap, I am pregnant for the second time in three months, and it isn't going well. I am approaching the 6 1/2-7 week mark where I miscarried the first time and I am a wreck. I am living from lab result to lab result. Hoping that this baby is a slow starter and will catch up, knowing in my heart that there is something wrong. I saw Dr. Swanson when I was 6 1/2 weeks and my level was only at 470, by this time it should have been at least 2,000-5,000. I told him the whole story and gave him all my medical records. He was knowledgeable and blunt. He said that most likely, I would have to have a D&C, which is a medical abortion. That obviously something was wrong, and he was going to figure it out. As much as I knew this pregnancy wasn't working, it killed me the thought of having to make the  decision to end it. We agreed we would do one more lab draw and let the levels tell us which way to go. It's horrible to say, but I prayed that the level would either double perfectly or drop, which would mean I was miscarrying again naturally. I needed an answer. I couldn't so it on my own. Well, the call came, my levels dropped. It was official, I was about to have my second miscarriage in three months. I was done. I told Dr. Swanson I didn't know how many more times I could do this. He assured me we would do some testing and we would figure it out. He named two things right off the bat that he suspected: my thyroid or a blood clotting disorder. I didn't even know what either meant, but I was optimistic to get answers. So off I went to give more blood. Ten viles! I swear he tested for everything, and I am thankful for that. Two weeks later, I went in to learn that I have two genetic blood clotting disorders: Factor V Liden and MTHFR. That appointment was a blur to me. He was talking about what I had, what I needed to do, what I shouldn't do, etc. I left when 5 prescriptions and hope.

Well, after the blur lifted I started to realize what this meant. Not only is there a risk to the baby for clots, but for me as well. I would have to be on blood thinners for the rest of my life and daily shots to sustain a pregnancy. What was happening was, when I would get pregnant and the egg would attach, your body naturally produces more blood, and my body was sending clots which were attacking the egg. The clots would slowly attack the egg, not letting it grow. So with blood thinners, and hormones, my blood cannot clot and the baby SHOULD be OK.One blood thinner I would have to take is a daily shot of Lovenox. The thought of injecting myself, did not sit easy with me, but if it will help to keep the baby safe I was willing to do anything.

I felt encouraged, but still cautious. We tried again, and once again got a positive test. However, I wouldn't let my heart believe or get excited, because I couldn't get hurt again. I know it's horrible to not get excited about a baby, but it's like a car accident or getting burned. You are never the same. I wish I was naive as I was in March, but I now know too much and have seen how quick things can be taken. Each blood draw, I held my breath, and each came back perfect. When we went in for the first ultrasound, I just knew nothing was going to be there, and when the lady showed me that tiny little beating heart I lost it. I started to get excited, but still held back. The 6 1/2 week mark approached, I was a wreck just waiting for a boom to fall. I will say, I am almost 15 weeks and so far besides a small bleed, everything has been OK.  I still worry daily, actually every second. I know I am suppose to enjoy being pregnant, but I can't help but worry. I know that there is always a risk to me and the baby with clots and there is a risk of stillborn, but I have decided to be thankful for each day. I am  getting excited and starting to believe that in May there will be our own little one here! For now,  today I am pregnant, and that's all I can do is have faith and take all of my medicine.

Well, that's it. I swear it seems like the longest eight months, but there is a rainbow at the end of this storm!

With love,
M, S, and Baby A!

Christmas & New Years

Well, the holidays are over! This Christmas just flew by. Between the annual Fisher Christmas, to Christmas Eve with the Montelongos, to Christmas day dinner with the Alcorns we were everywhere. This year was extra special because it was the first year I was finally an Alcorn! We started off the season with a whirlwind. Flew home from our honeymoon to put lights up (which in our house is a task), decorate, and plan our first ever Coast for Kids party. Yay, for raising 27 coats! It was so fun to use all of our amazing wedding gifts, chat with friends, and eat amazing food. I can't wait to make this an annual thing. That's right mark your calenders the first week of December will be the Alcorn Coats for Kids party! Lets go for 50 next year!
Then it was time for the annual Fisher Christmas. This year it was in Bakersfield. So, Mitch and I grabbed our appetizers and jumped in the car and headed that way. We were greeted with kids, wine, and food. Ahh, how I love my mother in law's dishes. As we finished the night we did our traditional share outs on the year. I always look forward to hear what Mitch has to share. I know I will laugh, cry, and gush. As he would say, "It was goodtimes."
We headed home to get ready for the Parsons' Christmas party and Christmas. I must say I love Steve and Amber. They are always so welcoming and fun! I always love seeing what neat things Amber has come up with. She is so creative. It was a nice treat to see Jamie too! She has been a good friend along my educational journey and life. She is so sweet and always makes time for you. You would think we were done but nope, we hadn't even hit Christmas yet.
Every Christmas eve since I was little, I have always been with my mom's family. I just love the craziness of the Montelongos. There is just love and noise everywhere. This year was special because we got to go back to Sanger. My cousin Peter bought a new house there and opened it to us all. He is extra special to me. :) All of my memories growing up involve me and "Petey." It was nice to be able to celebrate this special holiday in my Mom's hometown like old times. Mitch even tried a new dish, Posole. Tamales and Posole, we are working on him.
Ahh, finally Christmas. Well, we started it off by waking up at home with Jaxon and opening our gifts to each other. Even Jaxon went through his stocking and loved all his new bones. Next, we were off to my parents to open gifts and back home to get ready for the day. We were able to stop by and see the Waltermans for a bit before heading to Mark and Kims. Ahh, dinner at Mark and Kims once again you know the food will be amazing! Kim never disappoints. :) It was so fun to watch Maddie and Makayla buzz around the room trying out all their new loot.
As soon as it was December 26, we were taking down our decorations. Everyone knows how anal Mitch and I are. We like a clean clutter-free house. Even Jaxon helped clean. He managed to get 100+ pine needles in his beard. Mom had fun picking them all out. He seriously is crazy! Now to finish off the year strong, it was time for New Years at Campagnias. It was so fun to be with good people and have good food. Amber and I danced our hearts out with Mitch and Steve laughed with us. They did shake it a time or two.
As many know things never slow down with us, and already we are planning Mitch's birthday (January 12), Ryan's birthday in Shaver, and my mom's January 26. Whew!

With love,
M,S, & J

Coats for Kids Party

Fisher Christmas

Maddie loving her gift!

Happy New Years!

This won't last for long....

It's official, I am a reading specialist!! Whohoo! I can't believe that it was three years ago about this time that I started grad school. The last three years have been long, but amazing. From the drives to the epic conversations that we got into as a cohort. I grew to love those people as my own family. I can't help but wonder what will I do with myself now every Thursday? I can't help but think of the song, It won't be like this for long. Seriously, I didn't think school would ever end. But it did, and I am on to bigger and better things. I am so excited to transition into this new phase of marriage, kids, friends, family all with my best friend by my side. Seriously, I do not know what I would do without him. It's weird but god knew exactly what he was doing. Mitch is my rock. He calms me when I am being unreasonable, he doesn't let me see only one side, he makes me feel important, and keeps me going in the right direction. Without him I would be lost. He was such a crucial part in my masters. He put up with me always having work, being in Hanford, getting down or stressed without ever saying a word. He also never let me fall. Babe I don't say it enough, but thank you so much for just being you. I may not always want to hear what you say, but I need to. I can't wait to make our lives. We seriously are at the most amazing time. We can do or be anything we want, and I want you to know I support you in anything you do (even if it is a TV in the garage). Well, back to my point as this chapter closes another one is opening. I can't wait to look back on all of this and miss it....

With love,

Shannon

Selfishness and Craziness

Over the last two days, this word has been a common theme. As I lied in bed last night I couldn't help think, do we truly do enough? Are we lost in the shuffle of the "event" of Christmas? I started remembering some of my favorite Christmas' and what they entitled. I remembered how we always went to Sanger, and no matter what we ate we laughed and filled our bellies, how everyone was always late (especially me since I had two families to share it with) and all the kids would be furious with them because they were delaying the gift openings, how everyone was always dressed in their finest and drank champagne, how all of us kids would make everyone's' present piles like two hours early, but most of all how it was unorganized, beautiful chaos. Now at days, it has become more of an event than a celebration. I too find myself too caught up in the details. It should just be, come one, come all! So, as you began to get pulled in 1,000 directions try to remember it isn't about the parties, gifts, or big dinners. It's about giving back and remembering what Christmas mean to you!

Merry Christmas all, and if you can remember to adapt an angel from the salvation army!

With love,
Shannon

Out of 2010 and into 2011

 Ok, so if we do not already have enough to do I thought I'd add blogging to the list. I think that these are amazing times and I would love to capture all of our upcoming memories. Let's see as we leave 2010, let me take a moment and recap what and amazing year it has been....


*First and foremost I became Mrs. Alcorn this October. We are so blessed and personally I think it was the most beautiful wedding ever. :)
*This was our first year with Jaxon, and boy does that little dog melt my heart. I can't wait to share many years, our bed, food, couch, lap, trips, treats, and love with him for many years to come.
*We celebrated our first year in our new house in July, and I must say it has really taken shape. We have learned so many things as homeowners. Some good, some not so good. I love our neighborhood and our neighbors!
*I finally graduated with my Masters!! Yay for my life back, and the awesome dinner/party with amazing people.
*New babies, engagements, and friends round out this eventful year.

As we leave 2010 and into 2011 I couldn't help but name our blog "Making Memories," Mitch's slogan to everything we do. So, as this New Year comes I know that no matter what happens good or bad, we will be making new memories for times to come, and I hope to blog it all!